It was found necessary to fine Mr Holroyd for tardiness and the incorrect use of the term font. This latter offence carrying the maximum sentence of possibly stripping him of his affiliation. The matter has been referred to committee.
For the unsuspecting amongst us, let us remind you: a FONT is a collection of type in one size and style. A TYPEFACE is a design of type , including a full range of characters: letters, numbers and marks of punctuation, in all sizes. We really need to get this sorted out.
It was resolved that in future we should meet in pubs that serve only beer – from one pump. Considering the only known pub to do this is in Kent, future meetings might be delayed.
Mr Holroyd has a problem with mice, possibly caused by his habit of feeding them Mars Bars and Kit Kats, we’re not sure. Suggestions were made for the entrapment of said rodents and the efficacy of the Tilting Toilet Roll Humane Mouse Collector [patent app. for] was discussed.
The main objection being: what if the roll rolled sideways with the mouse inside would it not then miss the bucket? Mr Holroyd was fined again.
Mr Jones suggested we collect rice on a chess board, much in the manner of Persian Kings, putting a single grain on the first square and two on the second and four on the third, doubling it every time, and he spent a happy couple of minutes doubling figures until he lost the will to live on square 13.
Well further [exhaustive] research shows us that by square 64 there are 9,223,372,036,854,780,000 grains of rice, but the total, cumulative, amount of rice grains on the board is: 18,446,744,073,709,551,615 which is clearly more than required for a byriani I think you'll agree. To put this in perspective it's been estimated [by Clever People at the University of Hawaii, where you can do a degree in Pure Maths and Surfing] that there are 663,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 grains of sand in the world [where a grain of sand is specifically rock detritus with a particle diameter of 0.06-2 mm. according to standard sedimentological classification]. 43,252,003,274,489,856,00 is the number of possible combinations of Rubik's Cube, and the inventor of Mr Potato Head was one George Lerner of New York, in 1952.
Mr Coombes pointed out that you only need four colours to colour in a map no matter how complicated the borders are. Then talk turned to Samurai swords and we got confused and Mr Holroyd had to be fined again.
Before you knew it Mr Jones had his holiday health insurance policy out on the table and was trying to fold it more than seven times - there’s no stopping some folk.
Which brings us to rotoscoping.
Complaints were received that some junior members of certain affiliated associations were questioning the nomenclature of particular filmmaking techniques, especially that used in the forthcoming film A Scanner Darkly [an adaptation of a Philip K Dick story]. The Animation Committee was consulted and it was confirmed that the process of animating movements by directly tracing from live-action footage was indeed called rotoscoping.
Before the meeting came to a close Mr Jones entertained us with an amusing anecdote describing the art of making dogs defecate on demand. Apparently the insertion of a matchstick in the dogs derrière instantly produces the desired effect. Caution was advocated and the longer kitchen match was considered preferable to a Swan Vesta. Mr Holroyd graphically demonstrated the process on a larger scale with an oar and an elephant and had to be fined again.
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